mostly disgusting

I can smell my sweat. and my feet are cold and hot at the same time. Mostly dry. The tips of my fingers have little cuts that have been sore for over a week. I have to pee and my heart has been beating fast for hours, but not fast it just feels fast. It's more a breathing issue. Or a consumption issue. I think it's narcissism. And I'm thinking of you reading this. Exactly! I don't think the scarf I wore to bed is helping all of this. Lets address this issue. I'm wondering what Steve Barry was thinking. I'm going to follow up with him. Ewww there is sweat where the scarf was. I'm too lazy to get dressed let alone take off my clothes, which lends itself to itself. But it becomes a dermatological issue because I live in a desert and I wash my hands often. I'm not too lazy to wash my hands, but I am too lazy to put on lotion. Now I have eczema. Right, and it's not that my heart is beating fast, it's that I can feel it extra loud in my body. And i'm concerned about this fear of flying that it might severely impede my future life. or maybe I'll just have to make my work around that. Like build a bridge out of cardboard to Venice for the Biennial that my work gets into... you know. right? gross.

please accept my insomnia.

i love you.