beauty and death

I was watching two pairs of two children play with eachother outside… but they were playing so wonderfully I was amazed at how they were dancing. Christy sat behind me playing and singing the most beautiful song. Eva was in the back and started playing harmonica with Christy and soon just stopped to listen to this beautiful song. Someone came in and told me they were going to take their temperature, Christy left. I told Eva that we wanted to have her and Carlos over for dinner, but really just to play games. I was sort of walking around her as I spoke. Eva then took a caterpillar off my sweater that had attached himself there.

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Man, this morning was tragic. I apparently had several younger siblings, two toddlers and two babies. My brothers ( 22 and 27 ) and I were babysitting our new members, who we had for some reason just met. We were at a family reunion. There was a stairwell that did not have a banister. The toddlers kept perching their bums right on the edge, I kept taking them off. Then they grabbed the babies to hold in their lap on the edge! I swooped them up several times, and they seemed to think it was a funny game, until one of the babies fell to the ground. They still didn't seem to understand that baby was dead now. It was horrible. The dream went on all morning, and followed through the next couple days in the dream of telling our mother, and mourning and crying and dealing with this awful death . I finally woke up and stopped trying to sleep because it was so sad.

bicycles.

hmmmm.... I may have told this since it's conception in my sleep last week... but I think it deserves space again.

I was visiting my family in Connecticut for some event with Charlotte and Robert, and we were leaving to go back to New Mexico. Thus Charlotte proceeded to put on her large off white scooter helmet to ride with on her road bike. Naturally this helmet made her road bike motorized.... Robert, however, did not have a magic helmet and my mother insisted that the trip would not be very fun since Robert would be riding sooo much slower that Charlotte on her speedy now motorized road bike. So my mom handed them this really sweet blue tandem bike that they could ride back to New Mexico together on, which of course would now be motorized once ridden by the magic helmet wearing Charlotte and thus she and Robert could ride together at the same swift pace.

We all took off together, the motorized tandem riders and my older brother and I. My brother and I did not have motorized helmets... but that didn't matter in the dream, I think the main characters were Robbie and Charlotte, so the logistical details did not matter so much for the secondary characters.

So traveling we ended up riding through this old factory that was really long... with many large long rooms with old unrecognizable and refused objects. Brown basically. It was exciting though and there were lots of travelers like us to meet and things to be distracted by.... amidst this adventure through this trainlike factory... the bikes were left in the first car... and as we exited out on the other end to continue on our journey to New Mexico from Connecticut, I realized we were walking and not on our bikes... I alerted Robert, but he insisted that we walk the rest of the way. I was frustrated and quite mad that he was willing to just leave our bikes and we didn't have months to spare, we have jobs! But also because it has been an aspiration of mine, to walk across the country for some years now, but we were completely unprepared and I was mad that I had to refuse the opportunity merely because of logistics... I told robert "but we don't have gloves and hats!" But if we were riding, we would have needed all these things too, but it's a dream. So i went back through the factory train and found the tandem. It had been totally dismantled and stripped down to it's frame by all of those traveling vagrants, that didn't turn out to be so respectful. Sad and defeated I returned to our crew, and we started to walk. Robert and Charlotte in the front, my brother and I in the back. It would be months before we got back to New Mexico...

then I awoke!